The Theology of Toys

Capitalism -- He who dies with the most toys, wins. Hare Krishna -- Would you like to buy a toy? Judaism -- He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins. Catholicism -- He who denies himself the most toys, wins. Anglican -- They were our toys first. Greek Orthodox -- No, they were OURS first. Branch Davidians -- He who dies while playing with the toys, wins. Polytheism -- There are many toy makers. Evolutionism -- The toys have been getting better. Church of Christ, Scientist -- We are the toys. Communism -- Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours. Baha'i Faith -- Let's play with our toys together. Amish -- Toys with batteries are surely a sin. Taoism -- The doll is as important as the dumptruck. Mormonism -- Every boy can have as many toys as he wants. Voodoo -- Let me borrow that doll for a second. Hinduism -- He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses. 7th Day Adventist -- He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses. Church of Christ -- He whose toys make music loses. Baptist -- Once played, always played. Jehovah's Witnesses -- He who sells the most toys door-to-door wins. Pentecostalism -- He whose toys can talk wins. Confucianism -- A toy dipped in water, is no longer dry. Hedonism -- Hang the rule book! Let's play! Atheism -- There is no toy maker. Agnosticism -- I don't now where these toys came from. Existentialism -- It is absurd to ask where these toys came from. Non-denominationalism -- We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.

Rating

PG

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