More How To Piss Off Other People VI

Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. Wear a LOT of cologne. Ask to "interface" with someone. Listen to 33 rpm records at 45 rpm speed, and claim that the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." Mow your lawn with scissors. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!" Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket." Create a joke of the day page, and make sure that there is NOT a Christmas related joke on Christmas.

Rating

G

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