How you can tell it's going to be a bad day

You wake up -- face down on the pavement. You put your bra on backwards and it fits better. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold. You see a "60 minutes" news team waiting for you in your office. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candle. Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business. You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party... but there aren't any. You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city. Your twin sister forgets your birthday. You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then you realize you don't have a waterbed. Your carhorn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway. Your wife wakes up feeling amourous and YOU have a headache. Your boss tells you to not bother taking off you coat. The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard. You wake up and your braces are locked together. You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your panty hose. You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife. Your income tax check bounces. You put both contact lenses in the same eye. Your pet rock snaps at you. Your wife says "Good morning Bill", and your name is George.

Rating

PG

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