How to Piss Off Other People III

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." As much as possible, skip rather than walk. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. Ask people what gender they are. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Sing along at the opera. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

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