Actual Classified Ads

SNAKE FOR SALE- Eats anything and is fond of children. LOST: Small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the Family. WANTED: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. FOR SALE- antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. 3 YEAR OLD teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. WANTED-Hair Cutter. Excellent growth potential. Tired of cleaning yourself...Let me do it. Stock up and Save! Limit: one Four-Poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for sufficient beating. USED CARS: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! DINNER SPECIAL-Turkey: $2.35, Chicken or Beef $2.25, Children $2.00. Man wanted to work in Dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. OUR BIKINIS are exciting. They are simply the tops! WOULD the lady with the baby in the white car that picked up a small funny looking white dog ("Ralph") Wednesday on the Hampstead please call 555-5555. The kids are crying, my wife won't sleep and I have no one to talk to.

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G

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